Crochet design is so easy!
I tell you, the money just rolls in and the patterns practically write themselves whilst I live in lazy luxury.
…said no crochet designer I’ve ever met. This, of course, is something no crochet designer has ever actually said. At least not one who is still conscious and not laughing hysterically.
A look at the last month (aka: the glamour)
The past month involved four patterns in testing, which is exactly as relaxing and effortless as it sounds.
Fortunately, I have some truly excellent pattern testers. They know me well now — my strengths, my weaknesses, and the small but significant detail that I sometimes cannot count. They also know that if something is glaringly obvious, there is a very real chance I will stare directly at it and still not see it.
They’ve learned that the only effective solution is persistent nagging until my brain finally connects the dots. This is an essential part of the process, because no one wants an error in a pattern. Let one slip through and, based on experience, the resulting fallout rivals Days of Our Lives.
The designer is then sentenced to emotional distress via bad reviews.
This sentence is not recommended.
Two new wraps and the fuzz factor
Over the past few weeks (months, really), I’ve been designing two new scarf/wrap patterns. My hope — as always — is that the written patterns will be clear, easy to follow, and not induce rage. I truly want my customers to love what they create from them.
Designing began with the purchase of some luxury yarn featuring a generous fuzz factor.
The first design was attempted with this yarn. Getting a design to work perfectly is usually a matter of trial and error — and this one involved a lot of trial and a lot of error. Fuzzy yarn is deeply disagreeable to frogging
(frogging: the slow unravelling of your hopes and dreams).
Frogging fuzzy yarn involves frustration, tears, swearing, and a deep questioning of your life choices. This design went through 15+ attempts before it finally worked — only to reveal that the beautiful stitch pattern was completely lost to the fuzz.
So naturally, I frogged it again.
A different yarn was used, the design finally behaved itself, and the fuzzy yarn was placed in time-out to think about what it had done.
Giving the fuzz a second chance
The second wrap was designed specifically for the fuzzy yarn, because it really was too pretty to ignore. I tried to keep the stitch pattern simple to reduce the risk of further emotional damage, but some frogging was still unavoidable.
This required intense concentration, excellent lighting, a fine darning needle to tease fibres apart, and an amount of patience that I simply did not possess.
At this point, I began sourcing patience elsewhere.
Please sir, do you have any patience? I’ll take everything you’ve got. Quickly.
Meanwhile, in testing…
While I was frogging my way through existence, my pattern testers were calmly working through designs in testing — sending corrections, clarifications, and occasionally suggesting I sit quietly in a corner and think about my decisions.
Add to this customer support: helping those who genuinely needed assistance, and navigating the occasional customer who, after one hour, decided the special stitch was impossible, didn’t ask for help, and concluded the pattern was “rubbish”.
Naturally, this resulted in a one-star review.
Offers of help were made.
The customer vanished and attempts of help ignored.
The star remained.
The good bits (yes, there are good bits)
There were lovely moments too. Messages from customers who enjoyed the pattern, thoughtful reviews, kind words. These are the moments to hold onto — especially when the crochet champions reappear demanding blood because the pattern isn’t written in French, doesn’t include a full video tutorial, or is simply above their current skill level and apparently hurts their brain — their review said so.
But yes.
Crochet design is very easy.
Anyone can do it.
And the millions just roll right in.
(Choke. Chortle.)
