The Goldilocks Method of Designing Crochet.

You know that feeling! You get a brilliant idea and in your head it is epic!

This is going to be bigger than Ben Hur (Or that is what the saying is, I think?).

You map it out in your head and the sheer magnitude of just how brilliant this idea is, makes your head a few sizes too large for the gorgeous crochet beanie you made last week!

Of course whilst in your head this design works PER-FECT-LY.... Every stitch lines up and it all falls into place to create a piece of crochet that a Queen would wish to have adorning her in some manner or other.

Then you begin working on this masterpiece. You try one lot of yarn, and it doesn't work that great. Maybe the texture is too rough. You try another lot and it is way too soft. Then you try a third lot and it seems just right.

You grab your 5mm hook and do a few rows. Turns out it's too big.

You work a few rows in your 4mm and you guessed it, it is too small. By this time you can hear your 4.5mm grumbling from the hook storage. 'Told you I was the right size. You should have picked me in the first place'.

Sure enough the 4.5mm is just right and it did have a point, you should have listened.

Single Crochet.

You think you are now ready to whip up this masterpiece and begin using Single Crochet (US). You work up a large portion of the design, but the further on you get, you start to think that this stitch is maybe not right for the design. Maybe this will not work. You work slower, so you can ponder how you could possibly be wrong. It worked so well in your head. Eventually you are working one stitch a minute. Your brain is stating in loud terms that IT WILL NOT WORK. The realization dawns on you that it JUST AIN'T GONNA WORK, and a frogging you go.

Your vision begins to shift. This new idea will work, it will be super fabulous for sure. How could you have missed this?

Half Double Crochet.

Half Double Crochet may well be the way to go with this. This will work! This will be great! Fantastic! Fabulous! You may be awarded Queen of the world with this design, butttttttttt....... you get to about the same point you were at with the Single Crochet and just KNOW it is NOT SO!

By this time the new, fabulous, incredible design has had the gift of flight bestowed upon it (you chuck it across the room and leave it there for a few hours.)

Waist coat stitch.

Waist Coat Stitch. This is it! This is the one!! This will be raised above all others and become legend in this design. People will queue for hours to view the crochet artistry that you have designed with this stitch. As you work, you realise that this is quite true. It does work. It is right. Wonderful even. You work harder and faster knowing that those queues of crochet fans will be waiting to view your masterpiece.

Again your head has grown a few sizes too large for that beanie, and you realise the day is gone. It is late and suddenly you feel like eating a large bowl of porridge. You must have one! You have been working very hard all day on this so deserve it!!!!!

You are now so exhausted from your day of frogging that you also require a nap. You go looking for a bed, but you do need to find one that is JUST RIGHT!

The Goldilocks Method of Crochet Design is a patented method used by Auburncraft Design. No bears were harmed in the making of this method of crochet design, although several bowls of porridge were eaten.

You Know Your Yarn Stash is too Big When.........?

Who said that?

Totally not going to tolerate that sort of statement from anyone! My yarn stash is not too big, nor could it ever be too big!

Just because I have searched for two hours trying to find that elusive ball of pink Stylecraft Special Dk that I know I have somewhere, and I cannot find it, that does NOT mean I have a stash issue.

Sure I will admit I have more yarn than I can probably use in my remaining lifetime but how much is too much? And really what is the point of only buying one of something? I may need more than one and if I don't buy it then, the dye lot may well be different. Imagine all that work on something only to find it looks odd due to different dye lots! Unbearable!

And I actually gave this lot away to someone. I must get some points for that!

I can still get inside my front door and do have SOME room to move around. It is also great exercise leaping over tubs of yarn!

Is it really my fault that I think up a new design and none of the yarn I have seems to be JUST RIGHT, resulting in an order being placed or a trip to the local LYS?

No, it is not!

I have been extremely fruggle this year! I have only purchased 2 skeins of yarn!

I know I have used a ton more than that, so I could almost say my yarn stash is in deficit, comparing it to what it was, that is.

Maybe I should go visit the LYS and stock up! After all I wouldn't want to run out of yarn!!!

Disclaimer: The amount of yarn I have in my stash may have been grossly over exaggerated. Yes I do have too much but my house is not overrun with yarn! No Skeins of yarn were harmed in the writing of this blog post (but I did squeeze a few of them and exclaim how soft they were!).

Too many crochet design ideas!

My car NOT!

So there I am, driving to the gym in my little 4wd bomb (note in the picture I wrote blue on it as mine is blue, mine also has a roof and if you need more detail I have a sticker on the back that says 'help zombies ate my stick family').

Don't trust Zombies!

I should be focusing on the road ahead and just getting to the gym, but no..... I have this light bulb flashing on and off in my head. Stupid thing won't go away. The little creatures living in my brain are saying 'Don't think about driving the car. We have this great idea for a crochet design. Trust us it will be IN-CRED-IBLE! You need to think about this'.

Inside my head!

It is a lucky thing I can multi-task and think about this design, while managing to stay on the road at the same time. By the time I got to the gym, I had pretty well planned this whole design. I had the whole thing sorted in my head as to how I would make it. Sure I need another design, it isn't as though I have about 15 sitting partly done as I keep thinking of things and getting started on them, then swapping over to another design.

What I really need to do is clone myself a few times. The clones can be then forced to work in sweat shop type conditions, producing my ideas. Of course I will feed them if they work hard enough. This could all backfire! Knowing me, all the clones would have crochet design ideas of their own and down crochet hooks to ponder on them. Then they would all start making their own ideas, getting another idea, repeat, repeat, repeat!!!! It could be a nightmare. Something to think about I guess!

I Talk To Yarn!

Like a lot of crazy crochet people during this difficult worldwide pandemic, I have been locked away with my quite substantial yarn stash, whiling away the time crocheting and whipping up designs.

I have been drawing up quite a few new designs as my head just refuses to stop doing so. If I am out on my lawn mower I find by the time I am finished, I have a new idea all formatted out in my head and I am reaching for a pen and paper to jot it down. This happens no matter what I am doing. I just try to remember my ideas for a more appropriate time.

I have truly done my best to use stash yarn for many new designs, but sometimes it just is not enough.

I have one new idea that I have been itching to start. I then start to think about what yarn I need for it and of course colour!

If I had my way every single design would be made in the only colour truly worthwhile of being named Overlord of all Colours! Yes. Of course I am talking about PURPLE! I would truly make everything in purple if I could, but being a designer I do try to be a little bit diverse. Just don't suggest I work in GREEN (yuck) and we will probably get along fine, and don't get me started on RED! Red I only use very, very occasionally. One of my only designs in red is my Frankie Drake Cloche Hat (click here for a link to the pattern).

Frankie Drake Cloche hat. Pattern available on

Etsy (click here)

,

Ravely (click here)

and

Lovecrafts (click here).

Suitable Yarn to Make

Frankie Drake (click here).

For this new design, I had a NEED, LONGING, NECESSITY, UNDENIABLE URGE for Scheepjes Whirl yarn and thankfully my LYS has finally re-opened with a 2 person limit on how many people can be in the store at any one time.

I pondered long and hard as to which colour I should use. Of course I truly wanted to use Whirl in Lavenderlicious, but I have recently done a blanket in this and so I knew I must resist.

I looked at many items made in all the colours, trying to decide what colour would be just perfect. This had me rushing for the anti nausea pills as I came across Peppermint Patty Cakes (Green YUCK!). Once my stomach had finally calmed down, I narrowed the choice down to Mid Morning Mocha'roo and Licorice Yum Yum. Trying to decide between two colours totally does my head in at times. I find myself swapping and changing my mind over, and over, and of course the Lavenderlicious keeps popping into my head as the ultimate choice.

Find Scheepjes Whirl Click Here

The outing to the LYS was a real treat after being stuck in for so long, but my trusty little car had not forgotten the way there. I could hear the joyous hum from the motor as it knew just where to go. I soon found myself stepping over the threshold into yarn heaven. I didn't let any of the other yarns entice me to stop and adore them. Don't you worry, they were really trying. I could hear them whispering, 'Look at me, I am so soft'. 'Come on over here, you know you want to squeeze me! I told them to leave me alone in a harsh tone and they did quieten down considerably.

I stayed focused on my mission and headed straight for the Whirl section. I quickly scanned the shelves looking for the Mid Morning Mocha'roo and finally found one lone cake sitting all by itself as though being shunned by the other cakes. Normally this find would have had me singing BUT.... I needed TWO. My bottom lip dropped to the floor and I had to resist the urge to cry, or throw a tantrum. I managed to hold it all together as the last thing I could want is to be banned from the yarn store. Looking again for the Licorice Yum Yum my eyes landed on the LAVENDERLICOUS! I slapped myself a few times and forced my gaze to move on. 'My eyes, oh my eyes'. My gaze had fallen into the abyss, landing on the PEPPERMINT PATTY CAKE. This had me staggering to hang onto the shelves as nausea took hold.

Regaining my composure and averting my eyes from the hideous green, they finally landed on several cakes of Licorice Yum Yum. I reached for two cakes and headed to the checkout. The Mocha'roo was taunting me as I passed it 'You know you really want me, I'm much better than Licorice, C'mon buy me'. 'You know I can't' I muttered to it. I held my head high and kept walking. The store owner did give me an odd look as I paid for my purchase, but doesn't everyone talk to the yarn? Surely they were standing well back simply due to the covid restrictions and no other reason. Oh, well back to my designs!

You can follow me on the following:

Facebook: Auburncraft Crochet (click here).

Instagram: Auburn1414 (click here).

I also run a Facebook group in partnership with an Irish Designer: Two Redheads Crochet (click here).

Now to the boring stuff!

You are welcome to sell items made from my patterns, but please credit me as the designer and add a link to purchase my pattern in your sale.

Many hours of work go into the designing and producing of my patterns.

You are purchasing/downloading my patterns for personal use only. Please note my patterns and my images are copyright protected, please do not use my images to sell your items. No pattern or photograph may be reproduced or distributed — mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying, without written permission of Auburncraft Design. Please do not copy, rewrite, or redistribute this pattern as your own or otherwise. Just because you can copy does not mean you should. Please do not resell my patterns. This post may contain affiliate links.

6 (un)Helpful Crochet Hints That Could Save Your Project! Maybe!

Helpful crochet hints

1: How to find the yarn tail to pull from the centre of the ball:

This really depends upon whether the Pixie living inside the yarn ball is in a good mood or a bad mood.  They tend to like biscuits, honey and warm milk and so if you speak to them nicely and offer them at least a nice biscuit they may offer the end of the yarn up to you.  Whatever you do, do not annoy them. Get them annoyed and you will end up with a tangled mess and may never find the end of the yarn.  Good luck!

2: How to deal with finding a mistake in your project and the need to Frog (pull the project back to before the mistake).

Frog it!

There are several different methods that I have used/employed to deal with this situation.  I guess my all-time favourite is throwing the project into the open fire.  It solves the issue of having to Frog (see what that means above).  If you really cannot do this, I do recommend you throw the item across the room and call it names for several minutes.

3: How to deal with people who want you to make them items for nothing.

Perfect item to make certain you never get asked to make anything again!

This can be a really tough one as sometimes (just sometimes) you really don’t want to annoy your friends and family as you may need them at some stage,  so saying a firm ‘no’ may  not be the best answer.  The best thing you can do is make them the item and do a really, really bad job.  Make this the worst thing you have ever crocheted.  I can guarantee they will never again ask you to make something.

4: Those you live with are getting annoyed that you are using the dining table as a blocking board.

My Fishing for Luck Shawl Blocking. Pattern available on Ravelry, Etsy and Lovecrafts

Of course, you could just go and buy some blocking boards but really that is just money you could have spent on more yarn. Yes, I do know that most of us have a huge stash that could sink the Titanic but that is another issue altogether.  I suggest visiting a thrift store and buying those little trays that you can sit on your lap, or even a stable table (those things were a fad back in the day and nearly every mother and grandmother ended up with one, so thrift stores are full of the things). Train your family/room mates to eat with their meal on their lap.  Problem solved and everyone is happy.  I think!!!

5: You made your starting chain or foundation row for your exceptionally large blanket too tight.

Dogs have super powers

Yeah sure you could Frog the whole thing but who enjoys frogging. A tried and sure-fire method to fix this issue is to give your dog one end of the blanket and encourage a game of tug of war.  Dogs really do have super powers! Keep this up till your chain or foundation row has enough give in it.  If it has not worked then your blanket is probably ripped to bits by the dog anyway, so problem solved!

6:Your child or pet will not let you crochet and is insisting upon being on your lap!

Of course you could get rid of the offender but I know this is not an option for everyone. This is however a simple fix.  Go out and buy a large playpen.  Put your crochet chair inside the playpen and leave the child or pet outside of it.  If you also leave a set of textas with the child and perhaps a full bag of doggie food with the dog. Problem solved and a bit of peace to crochet. I cannot guarantee the condition of the house after several hours of free rein with textas and dog food (note: It is also not a good idea to get these two methods confused. Unless your dog is a budding artist). Crochet time is everything!!!

Disclaimer: No crochet items, children or pets where harmed in the writing of this post. If you took this seriously, then all I can say is 'Really!'

Pixies and Leprechauns stole my Crochet Hook!

I have a habit of misplacing things!

In reality I don't actually think that I misplace them; I am pretty sure that I have Leprechauns and Pixies that live in my house.

Maybe I could entice the little things with a pot of gold. If only I had one.

Note to self: Ask my Irish designer friend and partner in crime if she knows how to trap a Leprecaun!

These little creatures wait till I am asleep and steal the things they know very well I am going to want to use the next day. My fabric tape measure was missing for several weeks. I eventually found they had returned it and shoved it down the side of the couch. Very Sneaky!

I love my Clover Armour Hooks, but I only have one in a few sizes. My 6mm is gone. No doubt the Pixies found the shiny hook too much to pass up! They don't realise the imposition that they are putting me too. I have had to resort to using a cheap Aluminium hook for my latest design. It is equivalent to entering a Formula One race, while driving a Mazda 3, or attempting Brain Surgery with a Chisel.

Clover Armour

The Clover Hooks glide nicely through the yarn seemingly with no or little effort. I feel like I am wielding a Jack Hammer having to use an inferior hook.

I bet those horrid Pixies and Leprechauns will wait till I have finished this design and then my Clover Hook will appear. I can just imagine their laughter having caused the chaos they wanted.

So if you happen to know how to trap a Pixie or a Leprechaun please let me know and if you speak to one, please ask them to return my 6mm hook.

Crochet Design is Hard Work!

Just ask my computer!

I am apparently quite hard on my computers (according to my tech guy). The hours I spend writing up patterns and editing pictures drives most of my poor computers right over the edge, so to speak!

In the past 18 months I have gone through two computers. They both died a slow painful hinge death. Once the hinge goes, the case cracks and it is all downhill from there.

I know I should have learnt my lesson with the second computer hinge and taken it straight to the computer techs to fix it. But I am sure everyone knows how things tend to creep up on you. I told my tech guy that I had dabbed a little bit of WD40 onto the hinge and he was less than impressed. This is (according to him) almost like sudden death to a hinge. It attracts more dust etc to the troubled spot. The look on his face, when I told him of my handwork with the spray can, was quite priceless. He was trying to be diplomatic and tell me of my error, but I could see he really just wanted to jump the desk and slap me a time or two.

The tech guys updated my computer with one that has an almost industrial type casing. Bet they think I can't break that!

I think they are considering me for a job as a product tester. If any computer can stand up to the punishment, I put it through then it must be GOOD!

So today, here I am working away on a new crochet design that needs to get to the testers. This pattern has a heap of pictures. I am editing this picture and so what does my idiot computer go and do? It froze! It would not unfreeze. Begging it to do so had no affect at all! Selfish thing! So I had to close it down and reopen. All the while I am thinking, 'did I save my work?' Apparently not! Why would I do something that sensible?

I lost 2 hours of work on my crochet design! The selfish computer should have thought of that, but no it had to go and freeze. I am quite sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I had approx. 45 open pictures in editing, probably around 30 different pages also open on the computer and I was also watching an episode of the Good Doctor and had not shut that. Still if the computer can't cope with that and doesn't want to work hard enough and do a good job, then I doubt this one is going to last all that long either. I thought about throwing it on the floor and jumping on it, but I could just see my tech guys face when I tried to explain that one!

Ah well, back to pattern editing!