If Yarn Had Feelings
Do you have a yarn stash that, when unravelled, could wrap around the earth multiple times and still have a bit left over to create a nice hat with matching mittens?
Let’s be honest — we all have a yarn stash that’s slightly out of control (some of us more than slightly). And sometimes, when you open that cupboard or tub, the judgment coming from inside is epic.
So I got to thinking… what if yarn actually had feelings?
That Fancy Merino — Bought for a Special Project
"I’m still in the drawer? I see you’re still waiting for the ‘perfect idea’ again?"
This one lives in the “too nice to mess with” pile. You take it out, pat it, sigh a bit, give it a cuddle, and put it right back again like some kind of pet. A very expensive, squishy pet.
That Giant Acrylic Cake From That Time There Was a Sale
"You don’t love me. You settled for me. You needed comfort yarn in lockdown and I was available. I remember."
The poor dear! It’s not glamorous, and it’s had a hard life. It was once a half-made scarf, resulting in a tension disaster. A brief moment as a corner-to-corner that was just not right. One day you’ll use it up on a charity blanket and we’ll all pretend none of that ever happened.
The Black Yarn
"Here we go again. You treat me like a gremlin. Once the sun goes down I’m just a problem. I can’t help it if I need a tiny hook."
This yarn is simply yummy — but it’s a menace after sunset. You can’t see a thing, and you want to use this beauty but are just not quite brave enough. The trauma is real!
That Gradient Yarn
"Oh look, it’s time for my weekly Instagram photoshoot. I’m thrilled. Still not a scarf, though, am I?"
This is the star of your shelf. The elite one that lords over all in the stash. The one you keep petting but can’t commit to. You need a project of epic proportions to do justice to this one, so instead it gets admired like yarn royalty, but never used.
That Weird Scratchy Ball You Inherited
"You don’t know what I’m made of. I don’t know what I’m made of. But here we are, together forever, and I am stuck in this forgotten basket."
The label for this one disappeared eons ago. It kind of feels like sandpaper. Smells faintly like someone's Nan's cupboard. You don’t want to use it, but you don’t want to throw it out. Because what if it’s alpaca? It’s probably not. But still.
That Hand-Dyed Indie Skein You Were “Saving”
"One wrong stitch and I will tangle like your life depends on it."
This one came from a market. Or a small-batch Etsy seller. Or someone who dyes yarn in their kitchen with beetroot and moss. You only have one skein. Not enough to make a blanket, or really anything much. But it’s so lovely.
That Basket of Tiny Leftovers
"We are here and will one day be a beautiful scrap blanket or a very questionable art piece. Won’t we!"
Remains of blankets past. Little balls that refuse to be thrown away because “they might be useful.” One day you’ll use them. That day is not today.
Finally…
The yarn needs love. It just wants to be chosen, turned into something soft and snuggly, and maybe shown off a little. And if it doesn’t get what it wants — well, it will continue to judge you from the corner of the room. Quietly. Constantly
